Mischief Managed

Another year, another list of my favorite haunts and spooky attractions I’ll be visiting with Joseph and frands in the coming weeks, arranged in order of opening weekends for your convenience (and mine)! This time around, I’ve added a bunch of other options with less guts and more glitz, like film festivals, cider mills, and masquerade balls, as well as 5Ks and obstacle courses, and a link to a pretty comprehensive list of pumpkin patches and corn mazes. Also, there’s a poll at the end of the post where you can vote for your favorites or write in different ones I may have missed! Enjoy!

Scary Acres RI
Where? 2150 Scituate Avenue, Hope (West Cranston), Rhode Island 02831
When? September 19th – October 26th
Time? Friday – Sunday, Dusk til 10pm
Cost? $20, $30 for VIP
* [[UPDATED]] We went last weekend, and I give it a B+. You definitely get a lot of bang for your buck because the whole adventure takes about an hour, and there was a hayride we were not anticipating so that was a nice surprise. Their sets were incredibly impressive and their actors were great, and the corn maze was just as unsettling for me as I anticipated because it is HUGE and there’s ample opportunity to go down dead ends and get completely turned around. The only things I really didn’t like were an over-abundance of nausea-inducing strobe lights, and that literally the last few steps of our trek through the maze were ruined by some asshole actor wielding a chainsaw who kept smacking me in the legs with it and when I told her to knock it off (because, you know, she’s not supposed to fucking touch anyone), she started going “wah, wah” and fake crying at me. Congratulations, you suck.

Factory of Terror
Where? 3 Bridal Ave, West Warwick, RI 02893
When? September 19th – November 1st
Time? 8pm – 11pm in September, and after that it all gets really complicated but basically 7pm – 9:30pm are your safest bets.
Cost? Tickets are $18 in September and $20 in October, $35 for VIP, and $36 for Double Admission to the West Warwick and Fall River locations, so if you’re interested in going to both, I would highly recommend snatching that up.
Coupon? Here’s a West Warwick coupon!
* [[UPDATED]] We went last weekend, right after Scary Acres and it was not as great as I wanted it to be, owing in large part to the fact that they sent us in as the last two people in a group of eight, which is just way too many at once. By the time we got in a room, all the scares had already set off the people ahead of us, so there were virtually no surprises left. Also, for it being set in an literal old factory and therefore already having probably the best makings of a haunted attraction I can imagine, the sets were indistinct (I don’t remember there being anything actually resembling a Ghost Cemetery, Psycho Alley, Dracula’s Hideaway, Black Out, or Asylum of Screaming Souls) and not nearly as extensive as we were lead to believe they would be. The Zombie Shoot Out was terribly unsatisfying as well. Overall, it was shoddy. Final grade: C+.

Field of Screams
Where? 179 Plain Meeting House Rd., West Greenwich, RI 02817
When? September 26th – November 1st
Time? 6:30pm – 10pm (9pm on Sundays)
Cost? $20 (but there are special rates for groups, and for birthday boys and girls!)
* This has three attractions (Dungeon of Doom, Dead River Haunted Hayride, and 4D Cirque du Souls) for a great price, and there’s a Scary Bird Special going on right now to “Buy 2, Get 2 Free” which makes it even more of a bargain. We may or may not go this year for personal reasons, but it’s a solid haunt that I wouldn’t dissuade anyone else from going to.

Haunted LabyrinthWorkshop of Horror
Where? 804 Dyer Avenue, Cranston, RI 02920
When? September 26th – October 31st
Time? Friday – Sunday, 7pm – 10pm, $10
Coupon? Sign up for the coupon here!
* In its 30th year, the Haunted Labyrinth is the longest running haunted house in New England, and my personal favorite three years running. They are a non-profit city youth center, and I am always blown away by their themes, production, and acting. I went to 6 different haunted houses last year and actually ended up going back to Haunted Labyrinth a second time later on in the season and I still got scared just waiting in line and anticipating what was coming next. Loved it, love it, will probably always love it, highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.

Trails to Terrorthe Farm of Dr. Moreau Haunted Hayride and the Forest of Fear Walk-Thru
Where? 4235 Tower Hill Rd, Wakefield, RI 02879
When? September 26th – November 1st
Time? 7pm – 10pm
Cost? $13 for the Haunted Hayride OR Walk Thru, or $20 for both attractions, and $30 for VIP
Coupon? Available here for Opening Weekend and Family Day.
* I have no idea how or why I never end up at this one, but I swear I will go this year and update this post immediately upon returning – assuming I survive, that is! Mwa-ha-ha! Just kidding…or am I? Okay, that’s the end.
…or is it?

Unpleasant Acres
Where? 187 Pleasant St in Rehoboth, MA 02769
When? September 26 – October 26th (maybe?)
Time? 7pm – 10pm
Cost? $20? There is no website besides Facebook currently and it doesn’t specify admission cost there, and I can’t remember what we paid last year. Anyway, I digress.
* A mediocre hayride and walk-through maze experience. It’s not a bad haunt if you’re already in the area, I just wouldn’t make it a destination in and of itself. It has an after taste of a knock-off brand is the best way I can describe it. I did fall out of my tractor seat at one point, but I think the scariest part was just finding it because our GPS couldn’t figure out where it was so my friends and I ended up parking in a random mowed corn field and wandering around briefly looking for a signal/sign of life. On the plus side, once we did find it, there were goats to pet!

Spooky World New England
Where? 1000 New London ave, Cranston, RI 02920
When? September 26th – November 1st
Time? 7pm – ?
Cost? $23 on weekdays, $25 on weekends, add $10 for VIP status.
Coupons? Student discounts available, BOGO Free on Opening Weekend, and there’s a Customer Appreciation Weekend going on October 3rd and 4th where they’ll be selling general/VIP tickets for $15/$25, respectively. Also, be on the lookout for $5 coupons at Dunkins.
* Featuring a 3D Festival of Fear, the Devil’s Playground corn maze, and a black-out/glowstick-lit Darkness Falls
Maybe they’ll run things differently this year, but I won’t be there to see it. I hated Spooky World. Last year was their first year in Rhode Island, and it was (for us) a total disaster. The tickets were absurdly expensive, the lines were astronomical even with VIP access, and they let too many people in at once so the scares and the actors didn’t really have time to reset themselves before another group came along, so there were few surprises. One surprise that was entirely unwelcome, however, was this unannounced and impossibly long and tight compression tunnel that would probably induce a genuine panic attack for anyone with even a touch of claustrophobia. Also, an actor most definitely touched my hair and arms, which is a total no-no. The corn maze was pretty decent, but even so – pass.

Dark Manor
Where? 25 Main St., Versailles, CT 06383
When? October 3rd – November 1st
Time? 6:30pm – midnight (most nights)
Cost? $22, but they have free ticket contests every night and two Camp Out contests, if that sort of thing is your bag, baby.
* Totally worth the drive for anyone further from the border of CT than I am (and that’s basically everyone since I can walk across the state line from my house…and see Russia from my window). This was my first haunted house experience, and is still my second favorite (after Haunted Labyrinth). Last year, a spider dropped down on me from above and I fell straight to the ground, which proves two things. One, this place is awesome – and two, I will probably not survive in the wild.

Haunted Hill
Where? 4092 Diamond Hill Rd., Cumberland, RI 02864
When? October 3rd – November 1st
Time? 7pm – 10pm on Fridays and Saturdays, 7pm – 9pm on Sundays
Cost? $15, or $25 for a Speed Pass
Note: “October 31st will be a special Midnight Massacre from 8pm-12am. Price $20 and includes all night admission to the attraction. Also includes Block Party from 11pm-12am with raffles and giveaways, plus a Meet and Greet with all the characters as well as plenty of great photo opportunities.”
* Vaguely poor reviews have kept me from making the trek up to Cumberland, but as I mentioned last year, this is a pretty long-running haunt so they must be doing something right, and maybe they’ve since changed what they were doing wrong.

Fear Town (normally the Seekonk Speedway)
Where? 1710 Fall River Avenue, Seekonk, MA 02771
When? October 3rd – November 1st
Time? 7pm – 10pm
Cost? $14
* This is the first time I’ve heard about it, so I know nothing other than what’s on the website, but it sounds promising!

Fear at Fort Adams (formerly Fortress of Nightmares)
Where? 90 Fort Adams Dr., Newport, Rhode Island 02840
When? October 10th, 11th, 17th, 18th, 24th-26th
Time? 6pm – 10pm (or maybe 7pm – 10pm – the site lists both start times)
Cost? $15, which includes both attractions – a “high-startle” underground Tunnels of Terror and a more low-key and historic Haunted Officers Quarters. Airsoft and a midway are also available.
* I haven’t been because I only found out about it last year, and I’m a native Rhode Islander so Newport is “fah” but I like that they offer historical and modern frights so that might actually compel me to cross the bridge this year. If you go (or have gone) and would recommend it, holler!

Less Ooze and AHH!, More Oohs and Aahs

Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular
Where? 1000 Elmwood Ave., Providence, RI 02907 (Roger Williams Park Zoo)
When? October 2nd – November 2nd
Time? 6pm – 11pm (last admission at 10pm)
Cost? For adults, weekend tickets are $16, and weekday tickets are $12.
* Not actually a haunted house or spooky walk-through, obviously, but always worth going! This year will feature 26 different themes from A to Z (D is for Dinosaurs, F is for Fantasy, and so on) and end with the Laughing Tree. Just avoid going on the weekends – if you’ll pardon the expression, it’s a zoo. Tuesday might be your best night to go if you want to avoid crowds and save $2 your ticket if you’re a AAA member, too.

Zombie Night 2014
Where? In and around Downtown Providence
When/time/cost? October 18th, 7pm – 2am
* Featuring “boolesque” and dranks. Must be 21+

Rhode Island International Horror Film Festival
Where? In and around Providence
When/time/cost? October 20th – 26th, times and prices vary according to event
* Featuring costume parties and H.P. Lovecraft walking tours!

Haunted Providence
Where? 21 Atwells Avenue, Providence, RI 02903
When? October 25th, 10am – 11:30pm
* Psychic readings and presentations, silence auctions to benefit cancer research, and a “Elegant Goth” themed Witch’s Masquerade Ba

Mysterium – The Eternal Masquerade
Where? Providence Public Library: 150 Empire St., Providence RI 02903
When? October 31st at 7:30pm
* A Halloween benefit for PPL. Prohibitively expensive for this librarian at $125 a pop, but sure to be fierce and fabulous.

Chifferobe’s Cirque de Ville III – at Aurora
Where? 276 Westminster St., Providence, RI 02903
When? October 31st – doors open at 8pm, show is at 9:30pm
Cost? $35
* What’s sure to be a jam-packed performance featuring Mr. Dead Guy (“Philadelphia’s goriest ventriloquist”), traditional sideshow performers, accordionists, tap dancers, and tarot card readers.

If PYO pumpkins and amazing corn mazes are more your thing, check out Pumpkin Patches and More!

Also, I cannot recommend visiting Clyde’s Cider Mill in Pawcatuck, CT enough. It’s the oldest steam-powered mill in the US, it’s open every day until December, it has cider-making demonstrations on the weekends, and fresh, soft cinnamon-sugar doughnuts, hot cider, cold cider, hard cider, plus syrups, jams, and butters to purchase – everything you could ever want for fall, really.

And last but not least, for all you fitness freaks, find some additional motivation and…

Run for Your Lives!

Demon Run and themed obstacle course
Where? 4092 Diamond Hill Rd., Cumberland, RI 02864
When? Saturday, October 25th
Time? First run at 9am, last at 1pm
Cost? $50 to register before October 20th, $60 after that
* All proceeds go to Cumberland’s Park and Recreation Youth Programs

Providence Monster Dash – a 5K walk/run, featuring zombies
When? Sunday, October 26th at 11am
Cost? $28 to register before September 30th, $29 after that, and $35 day of

Now, what do you all think? Weigh in here and let me know which place(s) you like best on this list, or write in your own! Happy Halloween, darlings!

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